January again.
Start to a fresh year. A blank page.
I don´t know about you, but I ditched resolutions many years ago. They never seemed to work that long and ended up being another way to beat myself up about myself, my willpower, anything really.
Now people talk more about a word for the year to focus on and open up possibilities. Sounds much more empowering. But, how often do we remember that word throughout the year or when something tough comes up?
Even if we have ditched resolutions we still can go into the new year with new expectations, anticipation and the sense of a new start.
This is good, you might say. Isn´t that positive to start a new year with good intentions, particularly if we have taken the time to reflect on the year before?
However, from what I have seen for so many of us (particularly women) the reality is something a bit more like this:
- Beating ourselves up over how much we ate/drank/did/didn´t do over the festive period.
- Reminding ourselves of how we also did/didn´t do x, y, z last year (or insert any other time frame).
- Start the year with lots of negative self-talk and often very high or unrealistic expectations e.g. rule over eating, drinking, exercise regime, work plan, etc. (you get the idea).
- After days, a week or however long we break this very high expectation, often largely as a result of trying to escape the harsh critical voice and wanting a bit of peace or relief.
- The critical voice appears to be totally right about us and has won! It was right all along about us – we have no willpower, will never change, insert any other punishing phrase about ourselves, our lives and particularly our bodies.
- Somehow despite none of this working, we will repeat the whole process the next week, month or year.
This is how our minds often work. The negative critical inner voice (shockingly) is actually there for our good, to protect us from danger and harm. We have it to keep us safe -this was from lions and tigers many years ago, these days it does keep us safe but has also evolved to protect us from doing anything new or different – effectively to keep us stuck. It is up to us whether we continue to listen to it or decide to strengthen other parts of our awareness and our brain.
What is your voice saying to you now?
That that sounds hard? Not possible even?
It is still trying to keep you safe!
The reality is that real change is possible in any aspect of our lives if we develop the wisest, kindest, most compassionate part of ourselves. Yes, it takes some courage, some patience and doing something a bit different. But it is possible.
Want to really break some old patterns or do anything new this year whether it is for you, your work, your relationships, health, whatever?
If you would like to start connecting to the real you and break free from old patterns and get unstuck with lots of support, compassion and doing it in a way that feels good to you – please get in touch with me, Emma, by booking a free, zero-obligation 30 minute chat with me – https://calendly.com/innercoachingyou/vision-call-empowered-you or feel free to email me at hello@innerexpat.com
We will discuss what is going on for you and what you would like to bring more of in your life, even if you aren´t entirely sure what that is right now. From our discussion we can look at options that might be the best fit for you, which may include referring you to other professionals and/or resources.
It is time to approach that fresh start also with building up a fresh perspective.
I get that change, however big or small can be daunting. Believe me I have been there having struggled with depression, anxiety (sometimes pretty crippling), body issues, serious questions over my alcohol consumption and purpose in life and plenty more other things!
The most important thing I have learnt is that I am not alone.
The second most important thing has been that my life matters and that there is support available and it really does make a difference. I just had to let it in.
Whether you have started 2024 with fresh intentions and a new start or not, if you would like to transform your relationship with yourself and in turn with your life, it is possible and it is time to start toning down the critical voices and start listening to the real you.
I would love to start peeling back those layers with you and explore what is possible for you this year and beyond!
How loud is your inner critic? What has it stopped you from doing in your life? How have you learnt to tame it to make small or bigger changes? Where do you think it can be the loudest for you or anyone you love? As always I LOVE to hear your thoughts, comments and questions so please do share below.
Thanks so much for reading and being part of making this world a better place for us all.
Images: Photo by Jon Tyson, Waranont (Joe, Camille Brodar, Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.